“Do you hate me?”
“Should I?”
“After everything, you’d have reason to.”
“That’s true; there is reason for me to hate you. But.”
“But what? There are no buts in this. You either hate me, or you don’t. Pick one.”
“I don’t want to hate you.”
“Why not? After everything that I’ve done!”
“I don’t want to hate you! Ok? I just don’t! Yes, after everything that you’ve done, I should! But I don’t want to.”
“So you do.”
“Why do you want me to hate you so much? Tell me that.”
“It’s easier for you to hate me.”
“Then no, I don’t hate you. Because I’m not going to let you take the easy way out.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“No, this conversation is ridiculous. Doesn’t any of this mean anything to you?”
“Just let me go. Hate me; it’ll be easier that way.”
“I don’t want to! I don’t want to let you go, I don’t want to hate you either!”
“Then you’re even more of a fool than I took you for.”
“How can you say that? What is that even supposed to mean? Don’t I mean anything to you?”
“You did. But now, I hate you.”
“Well then, I guess that settles it. You’ve made up your mind on this matter.”
“I told you it would just be easier if you hated me.”
“Easier for you, yes. And that’s all that matters; isn’t it?”
“I tried to make this easier for both of us!”
“Making me hate you is not easier! Why would you ever think that it was easier?”
“Because.”
“Because what? That’s hardly an answer. You owe me an answer at the very least.”
“Because I don’t want to love you anymore.”
“So that’s it? That’s what all of this has been about? You don’t want to love me anymore?”
“I hate you so much.”
“Why? What have I ever done to deserve your hatred?”
“I hate that I care so much about you.”
“You hate that you care about me? That hardly merits any reason to hate me.”
“If you just hated me I could stop caring about you! I don’t want to love you! I don’t want to care about you!”
“But you do.”
“So much.”
“So much what? You love me so much? You care about me so much?”
“I hate you so much!”
“It’s the same thing for you isn’t it? Love and hate.”

I say it funny cause I'm studying Russian. I say vodka funny too I guess, my friends all make fun of me for it.

This journal's more for myself and to get some thoughts on Ivan Pavlov down.

Conditional training is actually rather terrifying, we can do it to ourselves unintentionally and then have problems with it until we recognize it and break it. Like me, I've started to eat poptarts at break, and it's now a habit. I want a poptart during break.
It can also be done to us without our consent or knowledge by the media.

I'll think of more later. This is due in a week. Eddie Izzard's got a great skit on him.

"Every 25 days she uploads a new deviation, and it's usually on a Friday, with 15 (42%) of her deviations."

I went into my stats and read them to find that! REALLY NOW!? Something I didn't even know and had never thought about. I had no clue. Funny stuff. I love how the stats are presented like that, kinda of funny and easy to read.

[X] - Dust scares you.
[ ] - Your mother had more than 2 children.
[ ] - You are a smoker.
[ ] - You drink a lot.
[x] - You like to write.
[ ] - You are religious
[x] - You like to burn candles.
[X] - You prefer juice or water over soda.
[x] - You have ridden a horse.

TOTAL SO FAR = 5

[ ] - You have done drugs.
[ ] - You are currently a drug addict.
[x] - You are very artistic.
[x] - You like stuffed animals
[x] - You are attracted to shiny things.
[ ] - You have eaten a bug before.
[X] - You love cars
[ ] - Cats are your favorite animal.
[ ] - You hate animals.
[x] - You are spontaneous and random.

TOTAL SO FAR = 10

[X] - You like fruit a lot.
[X] - You drive.
[x] - You make / made good grades in school.
[X] - You are going / are in / have been to college.
[x] - You like for things to be very clean.
[x] - You are very messy.
[X] - You love to eat.
[ ] - Christmas is your favorite holiday.
[X] - You like the beach.
[X] - You hate the color pink.

TOTAL SO FAR = 19

[ ] - You wear glasses or contacts.
[x] - You chat online a lot.
[x] - You always use correct grammar.
[x] - You like to take quizzes.
[ ] - You eat out at restaurants more than you eat at home.
[x] - You enjoy swimming.
[X] - You have more than 5 pets.
[X] - You have more than 10 pets.
[X] - You believe in ghosts.
[ ] - You have seen a ghost.

TOTAL SO FAR = 26

[ ] - You prefer comedy movies over romance movies.
[X] - You like dancing, either doing it yourself or watching.
[ ] - You have been to a strip club.
[ ] - You drink coffee in the morning.
[x] - You like to be awake at night.
[ ] - You don't go outside often.
[x] - You love to read.
[x] - You believe in an afterlife of some kind.
[X] - You have had short hair.
[x] - You know how to cook well.

GRAND TOTAL = 32

Answers

0 - 1 = Mosquito.
2 - 3 = A weed.
4 - 5 = Daisy.
6 - 7 = Janitor.
8 - 9 = Goose.
10 - 11 = Rock.
12 - 13 = Fireman.
14 - 15 = Rose.
16 - 17 = Mouse.
18 - 19 = Cow.
20 - 21 = Rabbit.
22 - 23 = Mental Patient.
24 - 25 = Grass.
26 - 27 = Water.
28 - 29 = Bat.
30 - 31 = Hippo.
32 - 33 = Crocodile.
34 - 35 = Vampire.
36 - 37 = Horse.
38 - 39 = Hawk.
40 - 41 = Spider
42 - 43 = Flea.
44 - 45 = Princess or Prince.
46 - 47 = President.
48 - 50 = You have done everything. Your lives have run out.

Apparently I only do journals every other day and on even days. interesting.

Finished Pride and Prejudice (1995) for the 6th time? today. Love that movie, I swear (AW PIGGY YAWN!) that movie give my cheeks such a work out from smiling that widely.

I had a though and it just totally escaped me. And it was a good one. It had something to do with a number? I really don't know what it was! Goodness.

Anyway, grammar. I read french grammar books for fun. Because I can, and then I look at pictures in my Vogue magazine from...September? Yeah, great inspiration there. This is killing me I had something important to say.

I'm beginning to believe that DevArt has a hijacking ad, or something of the sort because there have now been three instances where I have suddenly been on another site when I was previously at DevArt. And the last time this happened, I got a NASTY virus and had to reformat my hard drive. Yay blue screen of death.

I might think of what ever I thought of later.